Happy New Year’s Zen Family!
This is a unique New Year as we celebrate not only the end of 2019 but the close of a decade.
This is a great opportunity to take the time to not only be introspective and reflective on the past year but on the past decade. Then as we step forward into 2020 let us make choices and decisions that are informed and enriched by our previous experiences, and lessons of the past decade.
I have personally spent a decent amount of time over this holiday to reflect on my past decade. So much has happened, so much growing has occurred. I barely recognize the person I find myself to be today versus 10 years ago. It was 10 years ago that I closed my first studio after an intense and anxiety ridden period. I finally had to admit defeat as the recession devoured both my business and my self-esteem. I filed Bankruptcy. I believed I was a failure. I could not see my future because I had never experienced this kind of failure before. I discovered in that experience how to fail, and that failure is not defeat. Defeat is a choice. The best lesson I learned, and it cannot be taught without failure, is how to pick myself up. I rebuilt both my business and my self-esteem, and my career took off to a whole new level. Over the next 10 years I had multiple locations and partnerships each teaching me something of value and deeply and enriching my understanding of what it is to be vulnerable and to trust.
In the last decade I also discovered that finding true love has nothing to do with another person. It is only about you. I had to dig deep, I had to look my demons in the eyes. And then to wrestle them out of me. In this process I got into a deep and meaningful relationship with myself. Just like a normal relationship there were fights and break ups. But in the end I finally stood in knowing who I was, and then like magic entered the love of my life, Simon. We were married in 2017. I can truly say I found the perfect man for me, and I deserve him.
Over the past decade I also had my first experience with a family member having a terminal illness. And, then ultimately the untimely death of my mother in 2018. No sooner than I had gotten through that shock and depression. I found the greatest joy I have ever known when I became pregnant with a healthy baby girl. Only to know the greatest grief of my life, when we lost her in our second trimester.
When I look back at the past decade, I know that I could not have been the woman I was through all of that without each of the preceding experiences. Each experience led me to finding the strength and compassion I needed to make it through the rough times. Today, I celebrate each of these life struggles, disappointments and milestones. Each make up a valuable part of my life.
As you prepare for this new decade take time and think about what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve struggled through, what you’ve overcome and what you can be proud of. And then boldly step into the future that you create knowing that you are accomplished, and you are strong, (after all, your core is made of steel from your Pilates lessons). Take time to celebrate each milestone along the way in this new decade.
See you on the Reformer
P.S. Photo was taken on New Year’s Day. Simon and I have a tradition on NYE Day, after we have finished some combination of surfing, Pilates, yoga, running and/or meditation, we head down to the beach and with our cruisers for a ride along the strand in Manhattan Beach. As we enjoy this scenic tradition, we sip on a nice Champagne. This year it was a 2006 Dom Pérignon Vintage, a gift from our dear friends Mark & Gina. At some point we stop for a meal, this year was at Silvio’s Brazilian in Hermosa Beach, We end the ride by watching the sunset on the first day of the New Year. Great tradition!